he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's blow job season.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize