hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
