Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
