He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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