Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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