my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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