playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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