Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
