I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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