He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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