Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
