Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
