Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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