Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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