How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize