"it" just moved
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
