i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
pray to the hookup gods
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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