Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
