you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
