yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
