I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
