what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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