you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize