He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
