He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
