you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize