you guys were way drunker than both of me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
