she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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