I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's official drugs can't kill me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
