Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize