im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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