they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
