My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
