O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
