Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A bitchslap is in order.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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