Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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