Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
