Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
