Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
