Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
