I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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