do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
