Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
