Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
bring money and cleavage
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
