My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
