Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
