Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
