Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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