Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
