i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
