Me. At least after what I've been through.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
