My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
