i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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