if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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