you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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