Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
