i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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