oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
