Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
