Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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