It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
