did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize